Get all 8 DJ REAL releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Thumbsdown, Wet the Bed with Me, They'll Say "Yes", All I Needed Was a Tissue (Cypress Hill Tribute), Personal Growth, Can You Hear Me Smile?, Mr Reeus, and Happy Accident.
1. |
Longfingers
00:59
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2. |
Shakira
02:28
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Shakira
Why don’t you answer my calls?
And how come you never respond to my emails? And why don’t you answer the door?
You never answer the door anymore, anymore….
I’d like to know why you have 5 security guards positioned around the perimeter of your house.
I will never forget the lyrics to your first album. Even though even though I don’t understand a single word.
(Chorus)
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira
You are not alone
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira
You are not alone
Shakira, Shakira
You’re in my heart and I’m in your home.
I was gonna show you a new dance move I was gonna introduce you to my mom and my pops But your security guard has nothing to lose And you broke my heart when you called the cops
I will never forget the time we almost spent together. Maybe my dreams will come true with a Shakira impersonator
(Chorus)
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira
You are not alone
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira
You are not alone
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3. |
A Part of You
02:41
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A Part of You
I am not my mother’s favorite.
I am not my daddy’s son.
I am not my sister’s keeper.
I belong to nobody here but you.
I’ve never been accused of being a man.
But I really want to hold your hand.
Squeeze until the flesh becomes something new.
All I’ve ever wanted was to be a part of you.
Will you please take away all of my darkness,
Before I get the chance to swallow your light?
Will you let me show you just what I see,
When what’s inside the mirror stares back at me?
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4. |
Funky Guitar Lessons
00:37
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5. |
Don't Dance On My Baby
01:48
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Don’t Dance On My Baby
Hey dude, have you seen my baby?
Nah, dude.
I misplaced her somewhere at this rave…
Tell your dance crew don’t dance on my baby.
Out of all the babies she is my fav.
Hey dude, have you seen my baby?
Nah, bro.
I think I left her by the glowstick bowl.
Tell your dance crew don’t dance on my baby.
If you dance on my baby, I’ll get out of control.
(Chorus)
Don’t dance on my baby.
I wish the music wasn’t so good.
No thanks, I don’t want to touch your face.
I don’t mean to be such a bummer.
But can we turn on the lights, please?
Hey dude, with the pacifier
It’s the same one that my baby’s got.
Can you look deep into your crystal ball?
Can you tell me is she near this spot?
Hey dude, that’s totally my baby!
Guess I left her by the fog machine.
Wanna know how I know it’s my baby?
Cuz we both got the biggest hands you’ve ever seen!
(Chorus)
Don’t dance on my baby.
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6. |
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I Hit a Butterfly With My Car
I hit a butterfly with my car the other day.
My mom and dad are gonna be so disappointed.
But I have to tell’em, cuz I am an honest man.
Not the kind to kill a butterfly and drive away!
Dear diary,
Why can’t we walk everywhere?
Why do we have to drive our car every single place?
Just walk over to your family when you get out of work.
Stop killing butterflies dude.
Stop being a jerk!
From a caterpillar…
To a butterfly…
To an angel ascending to heaven.
Fly butterfly.
Why can’t we all just walk everywhere?
Park my car like I’m on a holiday.
Why can’t we all just walk everywhere?
Park my car like I’m on a holiday.
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7. |
400lb Boobs
02:08
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400lb Boobs
I’ve never been with a girl like you before.
You’re a giant and your body is so tall.
You’re my lady, my pretty baby you’ve got
(Chorus)
400lb boobs
400lb boobs
I want to smooch every acre of your face
Watch you eat a cow with dignity and grace.
Take my hand but try not to crush it.
You killed my friend we promised not to discuss it.
But I’m just a man.
Just a man.
I’m just a man.
Just a man.
I’m just a man with a manly face.
I’m just a man.
Just a man.
I’m just a man who will to you to outer space.
But you’ve got.
(Chorus)
400lb boobs
400lb boobs
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8. |
Old Man
01:01
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Old Man
There’s an old man hiding underneath my bed.
Don’t know how he got there
But now he’s dead.
Dead!
A dead old man.
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9. |
Electronutz
01:02
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10. |
German Love Song
01:09
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German Love Song
I love you
And your skin is so soft.
You’re like an image from a beautiful dream that I can’t shake off.
Shake off!
Your hair looks so pretty in the sunlight.
Your face, I want to kiss.
You give my tummy butterflies.
My heart gets strange when you’re near.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
You’re so beautiful.
Happy anniversary!
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11. |
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All I Needed Was a Tissue
Just give me a minute to blow my nose...
Gettin' boogers on my clothes.
Don't make this an issue.
All I need was a tissue.
Don't make me kiss you.
Gettin' mucus on your upper lip.
Like a booger moustache
Blow my nose in a flash.
(Chorus)
All I needed was a tissue to blow my nose!
I sneezed in my hand don't shake.
Now I got cold medicine I gotta take it.
My white blood cells bust a move when I sleep,
So my nose don't drip when I walk down the street.
People always ask why I sing this way.
Just took a puff from my asthma spray.
Hold it in...Count to 10...
Oh no! I got bronchitis again!
A tisket a tasket gotta boogie basket.
How am I feelin'? Don't even ask it.
Now I'm just a temple of doom
Gettin' everybody sick in the room.
(Chorus)
All I needed was a tissue to blow my nose!
Laying in bed looking up at the ceilin'.
Oh, man...gotta really funny feelin'.
I might be dead or I might not.
I forgot to get my flu shot.
Hickory Dickory
Doc what's wrong with me.
Hope I made a payment on my insurance policy.
What does it mean when your skin starts peelin'?
I got a bad feelin'.
(Chorus)
All I needed was a tissue to blow my nose!
Knock knock...I went to take a shot.
I got snot all over my glock!
Take a step back if you don't want to get ill.
I'm heading back to bed in my house on the hill.
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12. |
Pushups
01:19
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Pushups
One push-up,
Two push-up,
Three push-ups!
I could not have done it
Without the help from my muscles
Yeah my muscles
My muscles
Oooo my muscles.
So strong, don’t be jealous.
One girlfriend,
Two girlfriend,
Three girlfriends!
I could not have done it
Without the help of my hair-do
Oooooh my hairdo
Woah…Woah
My hair-do
It’s not for you
Cuz it’s my hair-do.
My hair-do, don’t be jealous.
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13. |
Punch My Nuts
00:39
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Punch My Nuts
Whenever I see your face...
I wanna punch my nuts!
Whenever I hear your name...
I wanna punch my nuts!
Whenever I punch my nuts…
I wanna punch my nuts!
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14. |
Electrobuttz
01:30
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15. |
Bad Friend
03:32
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Bad Friend
You’ve got to be the worst friend in the world.
You never lend me any money
and always make me pay for gas when I hitch a ride.
And now, I’ve killed a couple people
Totally by accident.
And you won’t help me bury the bodies.
(Chorus)
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend.
Please help me bury them.
You’re a bad friend.
Let me take advantage of your kindness.
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend.
We need to get rid of them.
You’re a bad friend.
Maybe we can chop them up into little pieces.
You should know it was only business
When I told the cops that you did this.
They’ll be here in about 5 minutes.
I’m sure as a friend you understand.
Pass the chainsaw.
Pass the shovel.
Pass the plastic bags
To put the body parts in.
(Chorus)
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend.
You need to get rid of them.
You’re a bad friend.
Let me take advantage of your kindness.
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend.
You need to get rid of them.
You’re a bad friend.
Maybe you can chop them up and then burn the bodies.
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DJ REAL San Francisco
Nick Stargu is a musician, comedian, writer and filmmaker who is best known for his multimedia / musical comedy act, DJ REAL, which has been featured at Outside Lands, San Francisco Sketchfest, Bridgetown Comedy Festival and more! He most recently appeared on the TV show “Flophouse” on Viceland. And he’s opened for Devo! He will be appearing as a host on NBC's Seeso show Guest List" Fall 2016. ... more
DJ REAL recommends:
The Very Last Songs I Will Ever Record (Part 1)
by Mike Phirman
This Mike Phirman album is tin my opinion he last great independently released musical comedy album. And Mike did everything himself! Writing, recording, instruments. It's a fantastic album.
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Spencer Owen is a truly great songwriter and experimenter. The song "It Work" is a straight up classic jam. He also released a Brian Eno tribute album that's so fantastic.
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Foxtails Brigade
by Foxtails Brigade
Foxtails Brigade really honed their sound on this album.They are totally unique in arrangement, style and vibe. Don't Look Down and Perfect Execution are my fav tracks but they're all freakin hits!
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Amnesia Haze
by Velcro Lewis Group
The longtime Chicago psych-funk outfit offers up five colorful barnburners with all the tension and energy of the current political moment.
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featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 31, 2015
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Off-kilter Portland indie rockers make an unexpected return with a tight three-track EP, their first new release in 12 years.
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