Can You Hear Me Smile?

by DJ REAL

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    Nick Stargu writes and performs all the songs as DJ REAL. Purchasing this album helps support the DJ REAL act!

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CD comes with case and original artwork by Dale Weiss.

credits

released October 28, 2004

All instruments and vocals were recorded and performed by Nick Stargu

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all rights reserved

about

DJ REAL San Francisco

Nick Stargu is a musician, comedian, writer and filmmaker who is best known for his multimedia / musical comedy act, DJ REAL, which has been featured at Outside Lands, San Francisco Sketchfest, Bridgetown Comedy Festival and more! He most recently appeared on the TV show “Flophouse” on Viceland. And he’s opened for Devo! He will be appearing as a host on NBC's Seeso show Guest List" Fall 2016. ... more

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Track Name: Resistable
We’re running from the Truth baby,
But we’ve got asthma.
We stop for a breath and the Truth says,
“Who’s the Master?”

You’re using pychophysicological analogies
you learned in college.
We be taking walks in the woods during fall
Checking out the follage.
Girl you’re mentalizin’ me.
Well I’m tantalizin’ you.

I know it’s hard because I’m always on your mind.

Baby our loves never gonna die.
It’s just gonna go into a coma.
Why is your new boyfriend always staring at me?
Why won’t he stop staring? What is this a staring contest?
Stop it!
I’m so tired of you I could fall asleep just looking at you.

I know it’s hard because I’m always on your mind.
Track Name: The Best Part of Our Relationship
When I see you standing there,
With your face
And your hair
And your booty back there…
I take a breath of fresh air.
Pile up your makeup layer after layer.
Your face is so complex,
Intersects my hear like a vortex.
Your color contacts rev up my soul.
I feel like a convict out on parole
Let’s sit here on this grassy knoll.
Eat Taiwan delicacies out of this bowl.
I was bad this year,
All I got for Christmas was coal

Pushing you down the stairs
Was the best part
About our relationship.

I like the way you walk…
With your limp hand hanging.
Let’s go and talk.
Hold on I’ve got to apply your sunblock,
So the UV rays don’t hurt your legs
Or your face.
I like your taste.
You make sure I don’t waste the food
On my plate.
That’s cuz you eat it.
Girl, I think you’re great.
Track Name: Ugly Mermaid
Ugly, Ugly Mermaid
With a fishy top/ girly bottom
I threw two golfballs in the ocean
She went down.
She went down and gottem.

We can watch Little Mermaid
I’ve got it on VHS
Actually, it’s not mine,
It’s my little sister’s.
I got it for her birthday at CVS.
Track Name: Check Out What I've Got
You think you’re special,
But you’re not.
I’ve got something to show you.
Check out what I’ve got.
You think you’re something?
But you’re not.
I’ve got something to show you.
Check out what I’ve got.

Knock knock..
Knock knock.
It’s me at the door.
I’ve got a little present for you.
Track Name: Mexico
Put a sombrero on your soul.
It will make you go totally out of control
Down in Mexico.

Put a fajita on your brain.
It will make you go totally insane.
Down in Mexico.

Put a senorita in your nose.
Wipe the enchilada off your clothes.
Down in Mexico
Track Name: Marco
Hey ladies, look at this face.
I’m the hottest guy in the place.
Grabbin’ the boobs without asking permission.
Your man and my fist about to make a collision.
I was good at math, but not at division.
I’m scooping these broads with my vision.

On the dance floor, who could want more?
You like these beats, straight from the keyboards?

M-A-C-R-O-
“Marco, Marco…..”
What?!
“You’ve got food on your shirt!”

It’s just sweet talk,
I’ve got the cavities.
You better stock up on your antifreeze
Cuz I’m cooler than anyone would like to admit.
I like the girls who smoke, cuz they don’t quit.
My friends say I’m loco,
I say I’m Marco.
How ‘bout we go for a walk in the park-.o

Wake up girly and smell the cologne.
Our love life is Rocky life Sylvester Stallone.
I like to fight so we makeup,
But I’m tired of you, so let’s break-up.

M-A-C-R-O
Marco

The bar is the scene where the ladies convene.
I walk up to these broads with my homie Dean.
He was like “Yo! I’m kind of obscene.”
I was like “Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo!”

“Yo Marco, that girl over there at the bar says that
wearing sunglasses in dark places is pathetic.
She must be a philosophy major.”
Too smart for me.
You’ve got the brains then stay home.
Don’t analyze this or my cell phone.
I can see your booty likes to take up space.
Stop running, this ain’t the thrill of the chase.
We can make out in my car, pump Ace of Base.
But Don’t Turn Around, I don’t like your face.
Track Name: Come On
Ohhh!
Whatchu gonna do?
Whatchu gonna say?
Howya gonna act?
I’m livin in a game that I can’t play.

Who the hell are you?
Who the hell is she?
Where the hell am I?
Where the hell is Steve?
“Dude, I’m over here”

We’re in your face!
And you’re facin’ it.
We see your face!
We’re erasin’ it.
We see your food!
And we’re tastin’ it.
Come on….come on and come on.
Track Name: I Fell Inside My Pocket
I fell inside my pocket into a mystical dimension.
Dropped all my belongings, my material possessions.
Dialed the operator of my mind for vital information.
He said, “Please insert a quarter into the phone mechanism!”
I said, “This is my brain, baby….I am the magician!”

Ascending through interplanetary transformations.
Ascending through interplanetary transformations.

I fell inside my pocket into a mystical dimension.
Track Name: Worms
You wish that you weren’t a worm,
Getting stuck and squished on the sidewalk.
But you are, so no expensive car for you,
Little man.
Now look up!
You see “NO WORMS ALLOWED” signs everywhere.
(Except for biology class)
You’ve got no worship or such.
You don’t love religion as much as dirt.

Slimy ass worms get no respect.
Ugly ass worms are paying the debt.
You are the worm who’s crawling around.
Look out!
There’s a worm on the ground.

You wish that you weren’t a worm.
Trying to wiggle into conversations.
Because no one on the planet will ever start one with you.

You wish that you weren’t a worm,
Getting stranded on the concrete.
Because you’ve got no feet to help you run away.
Well I pick you up and place you on the grass.
You know that everybody’s crawling through the dirt.
Track Name: MC Dartboard
I’m on point.
The point of no return.
You punk MC’s are never gonna learn.
I’ll watch you burn, like a pile of books.
Your girly’s sweatin’ me.
She’ giving me looks.
Well she better take them back,
Because she looks like a poodle.
And her vocabulary is back in pre-school.
“OOOO” is the letter I choose to use.
You’re using words you don’t know,
Like “centrifuge.”
You need to quit wasting your time,
Cuz you know you can’t rhyme.
You say “I don’t know.”
And you get the slime.

(Chorus)
What’s this song about?
Yo, I don’t know.

Running round the block because I’m
getting kind of chubby.
“This just in! MC Dartboard is getting fat!”
Fat with a p-h. That with a t-h.
I’ve got a headache from being so fly.
So why ask why?
I read your biography.
It said you were born and then you got really stupid.
All the girlies are sweating me.
I feels like it is getting humid.
Well I’m just a human as a matter of fact.
Superstars got feelings too and that’s a fact.
I can rap fast or I can rap slow.
I’m like pretty brook with my flow…
So!
Track Name: Kill You
I love you so much,
I could kill you.

Hear the beating of my heart,
It’s the Bam-Bam-Boom.
It’s beating bad for you.
Here is a piece of my arm,
I had it surgically removed.
The rest is waiting for you.

I love you so much,
I could kill you.

In the pit of the night,
Where demons swallow souls,
I’ll be waiting here for you.
Some day we’ll meet
And when we do, you’ll know
Because we were meant to be.
Track Name: My Ass Is a Battlefield
My words are an international buffet
For you to feast upon.
My ass is a battlefield.
Come on and let the cannons loose
There’s a war going on.

It’s time to light the fuse of my soul
I can’t let things in life get to me
I’ve just got to let it go.

I must have systematically made my life a dungeon where the dragons eat my flesh.
If the wizard of my heart were still alive
He would make things fresh.
But I messed it up. I wrecked a beautiful equation.
I took the “you” out of “we”.
Now there’s just me.
Track Name: Writing A Song Is Hard To Do
I’ve got the vocal styles of an aluminum can.
My song sounds booty cuz I’ve got no plan.
I tried to give it to you, but you don’t want it.
Like an ugly baby, I shouldn’t flaunt it.
I’ve got coarse rhymes and sequencers.
Here’s a verse that’s worse because I didn’t rehearse.
It all makes for weak answers to problems with luck.
My brain is a hockey puck.

I should give it up,
I should stop writing songs.
(Writing a song is hard to do,
Like watching Titanic without crying.)
I should pack it up,
Get myself a real job
(Writing a song is hard to do,
Like shooting yourself without dying.)

Musical deathbed – death-rattle.
Getting thrown off the saddle when I try to battle.
My rhymes are goat cheese.
My structure is lame.
Sentence fragments and hiss in the chorus and bridge.
My backup singer’s got digital clicks.
Your drums kicks. My drum blips.
My voice sounds like lint in your pocket.
It hits your ear and you try to block.
I sound like uncarbonated soda.
Like Beethoven, my life is over.
My beats are toxic waste,
My mouth is catastrophe,
My brain is a hockey puck.

I should give it up.
I should stop writing songs.
(Writing a song is hard to do,
Like watching Showgirls without laughing)
I should pack it up,
Get myself a real job
(Like selling insurance, or tacos,
or being an administrative assistant to a professional magician.)