They'll Say "Yes"

by DJ REAL

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about

This album was 8 years in the making and it's all over the place! There's a song about a guy who misplaces his baby at a rave, another one about a guy in love with his giant girlfriend, and even a Cypress Hill tribute song. All super relatable stuff!

All track were recorded in my bedroom in San Francisco.

credits

released September 23, 2016

Nick Stargu writes and performs all the songs as DJ REAL.

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about

DJ REAL San Francisco

Nick Stargu is a musician, comedian, writer and filmmaker who is best known for his multimedia / musical comedy act, DJ REAL, which has been featured at Outside Lands, San Francisco Sketchfest, Bridgetown Comedy Festival and more! He most recently appeared on the TV show “Flophouse” on Viceland. And he’s opened for Devo! He will be appearing as a host on NBC's Seeso show Guest List" Fall 2016. ... more

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Track Name: Shakira
Shakira


Why don’t you answer my calls? 
And how come you never respond to my emails? And why don’t you answer the door? 
You never answer the door anymore, anymore…. 
I’d like to know why you have 5 security guards positioned around the perimeter of your house.
I will never forget the lyrics to your first album. Even though even though I don’t understand a single word.

(Chorus) 
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira 
You are not alone
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira 
You are not alone
Shakira, Shakira 
You’re in my heart and I’m in your home.
I was gonna show you a new dance move I was gonna introduce you to my mom and my pops But your security guard has nothing to lose And you broke my heart when you called the cops
I will never forget the time we almost spent together. Maybe my dreams will come true with a Shakira impersonator 

(Chorus) 
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira 
You are not alone 
Shakira, Shakira, Shakira 
You are not alone
Track Name: A Part of You
A Part of You

I am not my mother’s favorite.
I am not my daddy’s son.
I am not my sister’s keeper.
I belong to nobody here but you.

I’ve never been accused of being a man.
But I really want to hold your hand.
Squeeze until the flesh becomes something new.
All I’ve ever wanted was to be a part of you.

Will you please take away all of my darkness,
Before I get the chance to swallow your light?
Will you let me show you just what I see,
When what’s inside the mirror stares back at me?
Track Name: Don't Dance On My Baby
Don’t Dance On My Baby


Hey dude, have you seen my baby?
Nah, dude.
I misplaced her somewhere at this rave…
Tell your dance crew don’t dance on my baby.
Out of all the babies she is my fav.

Hey dude, have you seen my baby?
Nah, bro.
I think I left her by the glowstick bowl.
Tell your dance crew don’t dance on my baby.
If you dance on my baby, I’ll get out of control.

(Chorus)
Don’t dance on my baby.

I wish the music wasn’t so good.
No thanks, I don’t want to touch your face.
I don’t mean to be such a bummer.
But can we turn on the lights, please?

Hey dude, with the pacifier
It’s the same one that my baby’s got.
Can you look deep into your crystal ball?
Can you tell me is she near this spot?
Hey dude, that’s totally my baby!
Guess I left her by the fog machine.
Wanna know how I know it’s my baby?
Cuz we both got the biggest hands you’ve ever seen!

(Chorus)
Don’t dance on my baby. 
Track Name: I Hit A Butterfly With My Car
I Hit a Butterfly With My Car

I hit a butterfly with my car the other day.
My mom and dad are gonna be so disappointed.
But I have to tell’em, cuz I am an honest man. 
Not the kind to kill a butterfly and drive away!

Dear diary,
Why can’t we walk everywhere?
Why do we have to drive our car every single place?
Just walk over to your family when you get out of work.
Stop killing butterflies dude.
Stop being a jerk!

From a caterpillar…
To a butterfly…
To an angel ascending to heaven.
Fly butterfly.

Why can’t we all just walk everywhere?
Park my car like I’m on a holiday.
Why can’t we all just walk everywhere?
Park my car like I’m on a holiday. 
Track Name: 400lb Boobs
400lb Boobs

I’ve never been with a girl like you before.
You’re a giant and your body is so tall.
You’re my lady, my pretty baby you’ve got

(Chorus) 
400lb boobs
400lb boobs

I want to smooch every acre of your face
Watch you eat a cow with dignity and grace.
Take my hand but try not to crush it.
You killed my friend we promised not to discuss it.

But I’m just a man.
Just a man.
I’m just a man.
Just a man.
I’m just a man with a manly face. 

I’m just a man. 
Just a man. 
I’m just a man who will to you to outer space.
But you’ve got.  

(Chorus) 
400lb boobs
400lb boobs   
Track Name: Old Man
Old Man

There’s an old man hiding underneath my bed.
Don’t know how he got there
But now he’s dead.
Dead!
A dead old man. 
Track Name: German Love Song
German Love Song

I love you
And your skin is so soft.
You’re like an image from a beautiful dream that I can’t shake off.
Shake off!

Your hair looks so pretty in the sunlight.
Your face, I want to kiss.
You give my tummy butterflies. 
My heart gets strange when you’re near. 

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
You’re so beautiful.

Happy anniversary! 
Track Name: All I Needed Was A Tissue
All I Needed Was a Tissue

Just give me a minute to blow my nose...
Gettin' boogers on my clothes.
Don't make this an issue.
All I need was a tissue.
Don't make me kiss you.
Gettin' mucus on your upper lip.
Like a booger moustache
Blow my nose in a flash.

(Chorus)
All I needed was a tissue to blow my nose!

I sneezed in my hand don't shake.
Now I got cold medicine I gotta take it.
My white blood cells bust a move when I sleep,
So my nose don't drip when I walk down the street.
People always ask why I sing this way.
Just took a puff from my asthma spray.
Hold it in...Count to 10...
Oh no! I got bronchitis again!
A tisket a tasket gotta boogie basket.
How am I feelin'? Don't even ask it.
Now I'm just a temple of doom
Gettin' everybody sick in the room.

(Chorus) 
All I needed was a tissue to blow my nose!
 
Laying in bed looking up at the ceilin'.
Oh, man...gotta really funny feelin'.
I might be dead or I might not.
I forgot to get my flu shot.
Hickory Dickory
Doc what's wrong with me.
Hope I made a payment on my insurance policy.
What does it mean when your skin starts peelin'?
I got a bad feelin'.

(Chorus) 
All I needed was a tissue to blow my nose!

Knock knock...I went to take a shot.
I got snot all over my glock!
Take a step back if you don't want to get ill.
I'm heading back to bed in my house on the hill. 
Track Name: Pushups
Pushups

One push-up,
Two push-up,
Three push-ups!

I could not have done it
Without the help from my muscles

Yeah my muscles 
My muscles 
Oooo my muscles.

So strong, don’t be jealous.

One girlfriend,
Two girlfriend, 
Three girlfriends!

I could not have done it 
Without the help of my hair-do

Oooooh my hairdo
Woah…Woah
My hair-do
It’s not for you
Cuz it’s my hair-do.
My hair-do, don’t be jealous.
Track Name: Punch My Nuts
Punch My Nuts

Whenever I see your face...
I wanna punch my nuts!
Whenever I hear your name...
I wanna punch my nuts! 
Whenever I punch my nuts…
I wanna punch my nuts!
Track Name: Bad Friend
Bad Friend

You’ve got to be the worst friend in the world.
You never lend me any money 
and always make me pay for gas when I hitch a ride. 
And now, I’ve killed a couple people
Totally by accident. 
And you won’t help me bury the bodies.

(Chorus)
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend.
Please help me bury them.
You’re a bad friend.
Let me take advantage of your kindness. 
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend. 
We need to get rid of them.
You’re a bad friend. 
Maybe we can chop them up into little pieces.

You should know it was only business
When I told the cops that you did this.
They’ll be here in about 5 minutes.
I’m sure as a friend you understand.

Pass the chainsaw.
Pass the shovel.
Pass the plastic bags 
To put the body parts in.

(Chorus)
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend.
You need to get rid of them. 
You’re a bad friend.
Let me take advantage of your kindness. 
You’re a bad friend.
I thought you were my friend.
You’re a bad friend. 
You need to get rid of them.
You’re a bad friend. 
Maybe you can chop them up and then burn the bodies.